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I like to think of successful relationship as being built thought by thought, heart beat by heart beat.

Back in the early days of my personal addictions experience, and I do mean early, when the outcome was far from assured, for even a day at a time, I heard some wise person say that thinking about what you had to be grateful for was a good habit to cultivate, and so I did.

I got it that when I felt resentful or afraid that I should switch my thought to something I was grateful for, and very quickly I felt better, much better. The problem was that 'feel good' feeling did not last long.

For awhile I thought I was destined to only very brief moments of the feel good chemistry in my body, until I got it that my feelings are linked to my thoughts and that if I regularly repeat gratitude thoughts I have longer and longer periods of feeling good. (This was long before I had ever heard of REBT or CBT, which perhaps was just an inkling in Aaron Beck's mind).

I believe that successful relationship is built the same way. Successful relationship is a function of short bursts of thinking and feeling and regular practice of those thoughts which leave you feeling good about your relationship(s). (Gratitude is the Attitude).
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